This will be my last post on this blog. I could not be any happier than I am at this moment. This weekend brought news that was fervently hoped for and joyously recieved. I have received a full grant from the prestigious Stiershiessen Fellowship for Brilliance in Writing.
That’s right, chumps! The full ride! A two hundred thousand dollar award and free accomadations at the Fellowship retreat on Molokai. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried for the Stiershiessen grant but my entry this year, Le Jongleur du Printemps, finally garnered me the accollades I deserve. I think you’ll all agree.
Of course I’ll have to comply with all the Stiershiessen Fellowships requirements. Fortunately, I already wear a mustache so growing it to handlebar length shouldn’t be a problem. Besides, mustache wax is provided in addition to my monthly stipend of 401.08
So, I made it because my awesomeness is frighteningly boundless. I will no longer have time for you puling, talentless hacks. Farewell, losers.