I Need Help With My Breasts (NSFW?)

Writer #1:  If you ask me, word choice is everything.

Writer #2:  You couldn’t be more wrong.  Diction is everything.

 

So I’m writing what may or may not be a love scene.  There’s definitely a good looking young woman with no clothes on.  There’s definitely a young man admiring this young lady and her nakedness.  But halfway through I’ve encountered a rare problem:  too many breasts.  If it was first person from this randy young fellow’s perspective I could just use any slang a teenager would use seeing his first live and in-person ta-ta’s.  But no, it’s a third person narrative so I’m just writing breasts over and over again.   Too poetic (milky swell of womanhood, say) isn’t right, the kid’s not that slick.  Heaving bosoms are right out.  She’s not even wearing a bodice to rip.  Boobies is always fun but it’s a little too juvinile even for my young lovers.  I personally don’t have a problem with titties but it has just a hint of X-rated that doesn’t feel right on the page.  But breast just feels so…boring.  It’s what most people say when they’re too shy to say knockers.  It’s almost clinical really, just short of mammaries.  How many breasts can a paragraph have before it starts to sound redundant?  Why can’t the kid at least try to look somewhere else?  I mean they’re nice knockers but come on.  She could put on a shirt or something too.  She knows the dude is checking out her chi-chi’s.  Damn teenagers anyway. Show some restraint. 

Hooters.  Rack.  Naughty Pillows.

Maybe I can just get ’em a room.