Being a Writer’s Spouse

My husband is one hell of a writer and wants it to eventually become his full-time career. I support him 100%, but know that being the spouse of a dedicated writer is not easy:
1. He or she is going to have their quirks
It is important that you as the spouse understand what those quirks
are and how to deal with them. For instance, my beloved doesn’t
want anyone to read even a word of what he has written until he
feels it is finished. That means entering the den while he is writing
results in a lot of arm waving, hands trying to cover the screen, and
accusations of attempts to catch a glimpse of his story. Which
leads us to the next revelation:
2. While writing, the writer may no longer resemble the wonderful
person you married
My husband fully admits he is a prick when he is writing. Don’t be
surprised if your spouse suddenly grows fangs and horns and
projectile-vomits four-letter words, especially if you interrupt a
writing session. Let’s face it, being taken by the muse sure sounds
a whole lot like being possessed by a demon. Just know as soon as
the clicking of the keyboard stops, your loved one will begin to
shift back to normal.
3. Smoking and drinking are permitted whether you like them or not
Writers all have a process they go through to get into the writing
mindset. There is definitely a long, rich history of writers who indulge
in order to induce inspiration. It is perfectly normal for your partner
in connubial bliss to partake of ritual substances they might not
normally prescribe to. The occasional cigar and beer is nothing to
be concerned about really, even if you don’t like the smell hanging
on the curtains, but if your cutie-pie decides to pull a Poe and
and breaks out the Opium, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.
Remind them that a dead writer can’t enjoy the spoils of a published
novel, however, if history proves anything it shows us that a dead
writer has a better chance at getting published (might want to
leave that part out).
4. You are going to get a little lonely
If you are one of those high-maintenance spouses you may want to
reconsider being married to a writer at all. The bottom line is that a
good writer spends a lot of time trying to become a better writer,
not to mention trying to become a published writer. And really it
doesn’t do any good to fake a gunshot wound, or laugh loudly at
the television and exclaim “Honey, you gotta see this!” If a writer is
in the zone, he or she is going to stay there. You will just have to
find ways to occupy yourself and enjoy those times when they turn
off the computer and step outside the den into the light of day.

About M. Jaynes

A female educator with anger-management issues, M. Jaynes is causing change in the world by inspiring (some may say forcing) young minds to think for themselves and question everything.


  1. Scott Shields says

    I’m sure that both my ex-wife and my girlfriend would agree with everything you’ve written!


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