Writing Exercise: Take an Adjective, a Character, and a Place and See What Happens

By on April 12, 2010 ·

Moonshine still in Forbidden Caverns
Image by kajvin via Flickr
I never been much of a lover. Bathtub gin is my life and the skirts aren’t usually impressed by a true moonshiner. They go more for your pin-stripe wearing rum-runner types. Y’see making liquor is a dirty business. I don’t own a suit. I wear coveralls and a cap and I got dirt under my nails. Those fancy guys don’t make their own; they buy it from lugs like me if you want the truth. So yeah, I gotta pay for it. And my first time in Amsterdam at a private house with six girls in front of me is a little intimidatin’. Jesus they all got fancy names like Candy and Simone and Isabella. The lady who runs the place brings them through the little room where I am sitting alone and rattles off names so fast I can’t see straight, like I been drinkin’ my own booze straight outta the tub. I remember one name from the list that comes at me so fast, Anna. Oddly enough it is my mother’s name and I ain’t too sure how to feel about that but by the time that thought crosses my mind I am in a smaller room sitting in an uncomfortable chair waiting for my $180 an hour date. One guy I talked to, Johnny was his name I think, said that if you pay for an hour but finish early, you can sit and talk to the girl until your time is up. It’s been so long I think we might have to do a lotta talkin’ and that makes me more nervous than anything. Be honest, I don’t know much about anything but making rough-and-ready. I can’t imagine a girl in this line of work carries much interest in such things. Unless she’s a drinker herself. That might help things if we have to chat awhile. Looking around the room there’s a glass on the dresser. Wonder if it has liquor in it? Jesus, I can’t stop fidgeting. The voices outside the door make me nervous, a little spit on my hand to slick back my hair and I think I might be ready. I wonder which girl she was in that line? I think she was the third or fourth name called out but I ain’t sure. Maybe it was the one in the red skivvies? She was nice-looking. They all pretty much were so I think I’ll get my money’s worth. And hell, if I finish early maybe I’ll just say my good-byes and be on my way. But damn, it takes me lots of time and lots of tarantula juice to make that kinda dough. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll be like a lotta women I know and never stop talkin’. Gift a gab I’ve heard it called. Well hot damn there she is, Anna. I don’t remember her face from the line-up but at least she don’t look a thing like my mother.
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Tragically Exclamatory!!!!!

By on March 29, 2010 ·

Punctuation Pyramid
Image by tgbarrett via Flickr
My pseudonym is M. Jaynes and I have a problem!

I’ve pontificated on punctuation previously. My sojourn into the comma conundrum was cathartic. This time, it is my over-use of the exclamation point in casual correspondence that has become increasingly disturbing to me. Oh, it started innocently enough. I joined Facebook and it seemed the “in” punctuation to use. So I picked up the habit and ran with it. Not an e-mail escaped the send button without an unhealthy dose of the emotionally overcharged “Thank you!” or “Good Morning!” Salutations should be heart-felt, but rarely is there a situation where the addition of six or seven exclamation points is called for. And it didn’t stop there. In my fevered brain it made perfect sense to add dramatic punctuation to such sentences as: “I have a trivial meeting after school today!” or in notes to far away friends, “I miss you!!!!!!”
Now, every time I write “thank you” without an exclamation point, I worry that the person receiving the message will think that my sentiments are lukewarm. Maybe it is my OCD brain that has caused this to become an issue but I swear nowadays when I write an e-mail it is so peppered with that infernal mark that I feel like a raving lunatic!
Addicts always try to blame others first, so here goes: I blame Facebook for initiating this habit. Prior to signing up, I hardly ever used that form of punctuation, even when I felt strongly about something. I was blissfully unaware of my issue while on Facebook because it seemed everyone else was on board with being exclamatory. Since bidding a not-so-fond farewell to that particular social networking scene, it has slowly dawned on me that I have a problem with this punctuation. Right now as I type this it is all I can do not to add a few more in here and there. And as one who loves books, I am quite certain that if I came across a novel that used exclamation points as frivolously as I have, I would think the author mad and discontinue reading. I need help! It is driving me crazy! I suppose it could be worse. Instead of exclamatory, I could be interrogative. How would that go over I wonder? Do I really want to open that can of worms? Should I end this blog here?

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That Which Does Not Kill Us May Make Us Stronger, But It Can Also Crush The Writer’s Muse

By on March 15, 2010 ·

Today, I get a letter in my mailbox at work that will tell me whether or not I have a job here next year. Unfortunately, many are in this situation with the economy the way it is. That kind of pressure weighs heavily on a person and it got me to thinking about how such instances affect writing. The truth of the matter is that sometimes when life gets tough, I tend to emotionally shut down, which leaves little energy for writing. When I first got into reading poetry I read about the lives of some of the poets and it seemed that when their lives were in the proverbial crapper, they turned to writing for solace or to release emotions. Look at Charles Bukowski’s Barfly and you will see what I mean. That doesn’t seem to happen for this writer. The last thing I want to do when I am feeling angst is pick up a pen or sit in front of a computer (usually my expressions are more physical in nature…elbows to the medulla oblongata and such). So I guess I am writing this blog in defiance at the moment, a mere twenty minutes before I will obtain the letter that holds the answer to my future. Do other writers out there struggle to find inspiration or their creative voice during times of trouble? Or are those the times when they produce their best, their most honest work?
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Movies That Do A Book Justice

By on March 1, 2010 ·

When a movie comes out and it looks interesting, I try to find out if it was based on a novel. If it was, I make it a point to read the book before seeing the movie. Currently, I am racing through Dennis Lehane’s Shutter Island. The writing is inspired, the characters interesting, and the story captivating. This is a fantastic book and I can only hope that the movie does it justice. There are few movies adapted from books that cause me to pause for a moment when asked the question: Which was better, the book or the movie? Following are two books adapted to the screen that cause me to wrestle with that question:
1. No Country for Old Men– It is no secret how much I love Cormac McCarthy’s writing style and also no surprise that I admire and respect the work of the Coen brothers. So when the two came together I thought I had died and gone to some kind of literary/cinematic heaven. The book is so powerful and contains the only bad guy in literature that has ever visited me in my sleep, the dead-in-the-eyes killing machine, Chigurh. The prose is beautful, the characters (at least the “good guys”) relatable. Seeing the Coen brothers craft the story on screen was amazing. The casting alone let me know that this was going to be an epic film worthy of the novel. Tommy Lee Jones IS Sheriff Bell. Hearing his voice as the internal monologue of the sheriff affected me deeply and really captured the tone of the novel right from the start. To this day when I read this novel out loud with my students, I hear his voice in my head. Javier Bardem and his 70’s Amish-inspired haircut and a-quarter-is-an- instrument-of-fate, friendo intensity fits pefectly the image that haunted me after reading the book. Josh Brolin as Llewelyn Moss gave an excellent representation of the bold everyman caught in a tough situation when all he wanted to do was better his life. Carla Jean, artfully played by Kelly Macdonald in the film, is a character in the book you connect with instantly. And, of course, Woody Harrelson as Carson Wells was pure genius. When a great novel, talented cast, and brilliant directors come together it satisfies just as much as when chocolate and peanut butter first bumped into one another and created the blessed Peanut Butter Cup. Obviously, I can’t say enough about this novel-to-film adaptation.
2. The Silence of the Lambs– Thomas Harris’ novel was one of the first books I read more than once. I actually saw the movie first before reading the book and was impressed by both. The book itself is one of the best examples of how to properly pace a novel, especially a suspense-thriller. The movie matched it beat for beat. Jodi Foster as smart, driven Clarice Starling made me want to run out and join the FBI right away. Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter…well, that has become the stuff of pop culture iconography. And, quite frankly, I enjoy showing the more modern version of the film Moby Dick to watch my students’ eyebrows furrow and skin crawl when they realize Starbuck is played by the same guy who was Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs, Ted Levine. I kind of wish I would have read the book first, but I don’t think the images I conjured in my head would have been much different from the way this movie played out on screen. More to follow next time…

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As a Writer, Know When it is Over

By on February 15, 2010 ·

Stephen Crane, Author, Red Badge of Courage
Image by Tony the Misfit (Getting Back) via Flickr
The story, that is. Recently I finished a sweet little Regionalism novel about two sisters growing up in 1950’s Milwaukee. It started out well with clever anecdotes and interesting characters, but when I got to the end of the book (or what I thought should be the end) the author rattled on for another two whole chapters. Quite frankly, it ruined the story for me.
As writers we are told that our stories need to have a specific beginning, middle, and end but no one seems to know just where the end should go. Is it where the writer thinks it should be or where the reader needs it to happen? A more important inquiry might be whether or not we as writers can distance ourselves enough from our writing to see where the natural ending should come.
A great novel will end right where we as the reader think it should. Or at least we will be able to understand, given the rest of the story, why an author chose to end it where he or she did. A mediocre novel will end about two or three chapters beyond that point with no rhyme or reason.
And it isn’t just books that fall victim to this conundrum. Many of us have watched movies that seem to go on way past the logical stopping point. Maybe it is best to follow the old advice given to writers and artists: “Arrive late and leave early.”
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